But now every time you reject me, every time you ridicule me, it makes me so ashamed of everything, or anything, about me.

I'm too loud. I'm too obnoxious. I'm too ugly. I'm too fat. I'm too stupid. I'm too weird.

But I try and change and suddenly...

I'm too quiet. I'm too much of a conformist. I'm trying too hard. I'm too skinny. I'm too much of a smart ass. I'm too boring.

But probably the worst part about all of this is even though you have these ever changing expectations on me, my heart still pounds every time you IM me. Every time you smile at me. Every time you approach me first, hold my hand, hug me, kiss me. Every time you accept me, whether I'm being fake or real. I don't even care to distinguish anymore.

You still have this magic fairy effect one me and I hate it.

Wear off already.

Much Love, Vicki.